How to Be Happy When Everything Is Going Wrong

The most important test of your true happiness is when everything seems to be going wrong. Sure, it's easy to be happy when you have a life you love and everything is falling into place - but what about when you are jobless, going through a divorce, deep into debt, your teenager is driving you crazy - basically going through life's struggles?

If you are not truly happy, it will show during these times, however, if you have cultivated a happiness mindset and have made positive thinking a habit, it will also show during these times.

A positive attitude will actually be beneficial to you during hard times. Feelings of discouragement, depression or hopelessness can cause a person to take LESS action towards finding a solution for their problems.

One of the best ways to practice the happiness mindset is to focus on the solution, not the problem. If you spend time focusing on what is going wrong and how terrible you feel, you will never get anything accomplished! If you are facing a problem, the first thing to do is push away the negative thoughts and set your mind to finding a solution. 

You can also recognize the opportunity to challenge yourself. Challenging situations may seem 100% negative, but they are actually opportunities for personal growth. Overcoming a challenge is beneficial for building self-esteem, improving your emotional and mental strength and making you a better person overall. Instead of looking at situation as a problem, consider it an opportunity for personal growth.  


I know it is challenging to stay positive in the face of a difficult situation, but you can do it and you will be a better, happier person in the long run. 

If you like what you are reading, please share with your friends!


 

Rid Yourself of Toxic People and Live A Happier Life

In my post on Stress Management - Stop Borrowing Stress, I briefly mention toxic people and why you should eliminate them and their stress from your life. 

The definition of "toxic" is pretty fluid - what is toxic for me may not be toxic for you, but there are a few basic characteristics of toxic people. 

Generally, a toxic person will be very draining, leave you feeling depressed, angry, anxious, worried and/or strained. Toxic people also like to make you deal with their issues and depending on the relationship, they may blame you for their problems. They do not care about anyone other than themselves and they typically view the world as being all about them.

In a word, toxic people are destructive. 

I'm sure we have all run into 1 or 2 toxic people, the problem comes when we keep these toxic people in our life. 

To be clear, you will never be happy if you keep toxic people in your life. 

These types of people are considered destructive for a reason - they are destructive! They seep all positivity and happiness from your life. 

Your first step to ridding yourself of this source of stress is to recognize if you have a toxic person in your life. Pay attention to how the people around you make you feel. If you feel badly after engaging with a specific person (not just sometimes but most of the time), that person may be toxic. If you have a person in your life who displays selfish and destructive behaviors, that person is likely toxic.

Once you have identified the toxic person, you need to work on eliminating that person from your life. Depending on the relationship you have, this may be difficult. This person could be a family member, childhood friend, co-worker, etc. and you may feel guilty about kicking them out of your life, especially since toxic people can be very manipulating and they will make you feel guilty.

First, do not feel guilty! Realize that making this change is only going to benefit you in the future. 

There are a few ways to eliminate toxic people from your life:

For family members, close friends and co-workers, initiate the low-contact rule. That just means limit your contact as much as possible. When you are around these people, do not engage. Avoid getting caught up in an argument or trying to solve their problems or doing something just to make them happy. Let them be toxic all by themselves.

For people who are just acquaintances or not really important to you, kick them right out of your life without a second thought!

There is a third option that I would only suggest if the person is someone you love dearly and cannot imagine living without (such as a child, spouse, parent, etc.) and that is working on the relationship. 

Some toxic people become toxic and destructive because of their experiences. A string of really difficult circumstances can turn a generally fun-loving and happy person into a toxic, destructive person. In these cases, instead of simply being done with that person, I would try therapy, counseling or just talking to that person. These cases can be very difficult, hurtful and confusing, but if both parties involved are willing, the relationship can be salvaged.   

Typically, if there is a toxic person in your life, you already know it. Choose one of the three ways to deal with the situation and then do it today! Your happiness is waiting...

Stress Management - 3 Techniques to Handle Work-Related Stress

The topic of work-related stress is currently on my mind because I just ended a very stressful work-week (and am hopefully beginning a very relaxing weekend!). If you can name a work-related problem, such as difficult co-workers, communication breakdowns, system issues, etc. I most likely experienced it this week.

To keep myself sane, I implemented a few techniques that were very useful in handling my stress: 

Be amused: This may sound a little wacky (and you may look a little wacky when practicing this technique), but finding amusement in non-serious but stressful situations is a great stress reliever. Laughter really is the best medicine, and if you find yourself in a situation that you can recognize will make a humorous story later on, why not embrace the humor while you are experiencing it?!

This technique not only puts things in perspective (if you can laugh about it later, it is probably not that bad, right?), but it also adds a little bit of levity to the situation and will likely break the tension for those around you as well. 

Remove yourself from the situation: One of my stress-causing moments this week happened to be something that really had nothing to do with me. It took me a minute or two to realize I was just borrowing stress. As soon as I realized, I took myself out of the equation completely and, surprisingly, was instantly relieved of my stress regarding that particular situation. 

When a problem arises, take a moment to consider if it really is your problem. If the situation is not directly involving you, say no to unnecessary stress and walk away. 

Recognize when something is bigger than you: Sometimes problems are bigger than you are. Accepting that is powerful because it allows you to let go of negative feels about the situation.  

If you have a system issue and you have to wait around for IT to come and fix it, you have a built-in reason to release any stress you are feeling about the problem, as it is completely out of your hands. Instead of feeling stressed, standing over the poor tech support person and fretting, grab a coffee, have a seat or chat with a co-worker and let go of feeling that you have to be in control of the situation.

These are the three techniques I used to deal with my long, stressful work-week. Practice these techniques to better handle your work-related stress.