Tuesday, September 4, 2012

Are You Afraid to be Happy?

Think about it, are you?

Being afraid of happiness might sound like an oxymoron, but this type of fear exists and is likely one of the main reasons people are not able to find true happiness in their life.

There are several reasons a person might be afraid to be happy. 

Unhappiness can be a learned behavior. Someone who had a severely unhappy childhood and watched the important people in their lives (such as parents) lead an unhappy life will likely lead their own unhappy life. In this case the fear of being happy would simply be caused by fearing the unknown. 

Fear of happiness can also be caused by a misunderstanding of what true happiness really is. Although this entire blog revolves around the word "happiness," I actually hesitated to use it at first. The real definition of happiness (a state of well-being and contentment: joy, merriam-webster.com) is not how many people recognize it at all. As many people think happiness is this forced, bubbly feeling, they reject the entire concept and would rather feel unhappy or even miserable. They fear a superficial idea that they cannot understand.

Another reason some may fear happiness is because they think it is fleeting. Have you ever heard the expression "waiting for the other shoe to drop?" I know I have been guilty of this - if everything is going great in my life I sometimes catch myself waiting for that other shoe, which for some reason always seems to be negative (in my mind). If you believe happiness means have a good day now or then, or experiencing a positive feeling until something bad happens, it's completely understandable why you would fear feeling happy just to have it taken away from you at any second.

So if you fear happiness, how do you get over the fear?

The first step is to be aware and recognize your fear. If you read this blog, you know happiness is all about your mindset, not about your circumstances. If you are not happy, what's holding you back? Honest answers will allow you to pinpoint the problem so you can start cultivating your happiness

The second step is to start cultivating your happiness! Define your happiness and get to work on creating the type of life that you want to have.

Lastly, understand fear of happiness for what it really is - an irrational feeling that is keeping you from living the life of your dreams. Determine within yourself that you will no longer live in fear.

No go and live your happy life!